Who, how and what to tell?

Who to tell

Sexual assault and abuse are against the law and if either of these are happening to you it’s important to tell someone you trust. Telling an adult gives you the best chance of making it stop. Adults you could tell:

  • A parent, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent or other relative
  • A family friend or the parent of your best friend
  • A teacher, the school counsellor, your doctor
  • A service like Kids helpline or Sexual Assault Crisis Line

Sexual assault

Generally speaking, sexual assault is any type of unwanted sexual behaviour that makes someone feel uncomfortable, intimidated or afraid.

What is child abuse?

Child abuse is when children or young people are harmed, not protected or not taken care of. Child abuse can happen in many ways, for example: Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual abuse, Neglect.

If it feels too hard to tell an adult right now, at least tell a close friend. They might be able to help you reach out to get the support you need.

How to tell

Telling someone can be really hard so think of ways to take care of yourself before you tell and afterwards. This could be:

  • Spending time with a friend
  • Going for a bike ride or a run
  • Listening to music or watching a movie
  • Reading.

Next, find a time to talk to your trusted adult when they’re alone. Check that they don't need to rush off anywhere. Tell them you want to talk about something that is important to you. Perhaps ask them to sit down and look at them so you get their full attention.

What to tell

Use your own words to tell what happened. Only tell what you are comfortable with. This can be as little or as much as you want.

What might happen when you tell?

The person you tell may seem really upset or shocked after you tell them. This is normal because they care about you and it’s hard for them to know that you’ve been hurt. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell anyone, or that you are to blame for the person being upset. It is the abuser who is responsible.

What if they don’t believe you?

If the person you tell doesn’t believe you or doesn’t help you - tell someone else. Keep telling until someone helps you.

  • The school nurse
  • The school welfare officer
  • A service like SACL: 1800 806 292 or Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800
  • A friend’s parents
  • Your doctor

What you might do next

After you’ve told your trusted adult or close friend, you can talk together about what to do next.

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For more information

For more information about this or to contact the South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault go to the SECASA website.