What if I change my mind during sex? Is that rape?
This can be a bit tricky for both people involved because there are 2 issues.
- How well you know the person you might have sex with
- Giving consent (saying yes)
How well you know the person you might have sex with
Firstly, how do you make sure that sex with this person is going to work for you? It might be that you have a chat about what your limits or expectations are, so that if you’re starting to feel uncomfortable you can say stop. This probably sounds like an awkward conversation but it will give you a chance to suss out whether or not this person is likely to respect you.
At the end of the day, you need to know you can trust this person before you have sex. Bad sex is not sexual assault, but it is not a good experience.
Giving consent (saying yes)
The other issue is around the legal definitions of consent and remember that this can get a bit complex too so here goes….
Sometimes people feel pushed into sex because of peer pressure etc. Alcohol and drugs can cloud your judgement. People who are affected by alcohol or drugs are said to be legally unable to give consent.
If you’re mid-way through sex and you tell that person to stop and they don’t, then that is technically rape. Remember that consent has to be freely and voluntarily given without threat or intimidation. It is not consent if you agree because you’re scared to say no. If you’re too scared to say anything, that doesn’t mean you are consenting either. Silence is not consent.
For more informationFor more information about this or to contact the South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault go to the SECASA website. |
